Here’s why you’re more prepared than you think you are — A mom’s perspective on letting go.
I’m not ready! I knew this day would come, but that was almost 13 years ago and just like that (insert a snapping sound), the time has come, and I’m not ready!
I guess I hoped time would slow down and I’d be able to prepare myself for what lies ahead. That’s the problem I find myself in now — I didn’t prepare, and how do you really prepare for something like this? When are you really ready? It sneaks up on you and before you know it , your little girl steps over the threshold of childhood and becomes a, a, a…I can’t even say it. There’s something getting in the way of me being able to say the word, it’s a huge lump in my throat as I hold back my emotions. If I say the word, then it’s like everything up until this point will disappear, vanish, change and in many ways I don’t want it to.
But it doesn’t matter what I want. No amount of hoping, wishing and praying will stop this train in motion. That’s what it feels like — a fast moving train. The landscape of life is blurring right past me and it’s making me dizzy. I’m speeding towards a tunnel of the “great unknown.”
Okay…maybe I’m being a tiny bit dramatic ;). But honestly, this parenting thing has got me in a heap again. I was in my sweet spot, but as of April 10th, half of my children will be…I can do this..deep breaths…TEENAGERS!
Another transition, another phase and another season of challenges as well as celebrations. On April 10th, my girl is going to be a teenageer. Phew, there…I said it.
You might be thinking this shouldn’t be such a big deal because I already have a teenager. But somehow it is a big deal because it’s my daughter. It felt weird to have my son turn 13, but not like this. Perhaps it’s because he wasn’t as keen on it as she seems to be. She can’t wait to be legit 13, an “official” teenager. I, on the other hand, can wait.
It really only felt like yesterday that she and I were doing things like playing with playdoh, drawing pictures with sidewalk chalk and singing, “The wheels on the bus go round and round.” She would talk about ponies, puppies and princesses. Now she talks about pimples, periods and prom dresses.
It seems like yesterday I was teaching her how to tie her shoes, write her name and comb her hair. Now I’m teaching her how to walk in heels, text responsibly and shave her legs.
She used to sing silly songs, skip through the park and snuggle with me until she fell asleep. Now she sings with her headphones on, strolls through the mall and…wait a minute, come to think about it, she still snuggles with me till she falls asleep. Maybe all hasn’t been lost.
Maybe not everything has to change. Maybe she can be my little girl in my heart. Maybe I should be thankful that she IS talking to me. Maybe she can teach me some new things. Maybe she and I can still do fun things, just differently. Different doesn’t mean bad.
Maybe it’s not about letting my little girl go but about letting my little girl grow — Grow into the women I know she can be. The kind of woman who still is fun, kind and compassionate. The same little girl on the inside. And the best part is we can grow together.
Maybe I am more ready for this than I think. Maybe you are too. :)